Brothers
by Love-Danika
Summary: "Since the birth of his little brother, Sesshomaru has tried to do what's best for InuYasha; even if that meant leaving him behind. But what comes from abandonment in the end?" Yaoi. Lots of different pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**w00t! ... ok. I'm not really excited.**

**_Magical Warnings of Doom: __For this Chapter_: none. _For the rest of the story_: yaoi, probably incest (I don't know. I'm still working on it. but at the very least incestive feelings), sexual references, self-harm, drug references, and probably some other stuff. idk. we shall see.**

**_Magical Disclaimer of Doom__:_ I Do Not Own Any of These Characters or Anything... yada yada. Blah Blah. You get the picture.**

**This story has been apprived by many of my friends, so I decided to put it up. Tell me what you think of it so far. If no one likes it, I won't post anything else on it.**

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****Chapter 1 (yay?)**

"Sesshomaru, we have a bit of a surprise for you."

"Oh! Is it a puppy?"

"Well... kind of...?"

"Kind of?"

"Sesshomaru, we're having a baby. You're going to have a baby brother!"

-Eight Months later-

"Look at him." Izayoi whispered lovingly to her husband. "Isn't he the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

"Yeah." Inutaisho said. His voice was thick with emotion. "He is..."

Little five-year-old Sesshomaru sat right outside the baby's new room. He was slumped against the wall with tear stains on his cheeks. He whispered to himself, "Happy Birthday, Sesshomaru."

-Three years later-

"SESSHOMARU!" Inutaisho growled. He broke down Sesshomaru's door to find the boy reading on his bed. He snatched the book from the boy's hands and threw it out the window. "I know it was you! You are in very serious trouble!"

"Hey!" Sesshomaru protested. "Mother gave me that!"

"Your mother left you." Inutaisho growled. "Now explain to me why InuYasha was in the oven covered in olive oil and curry!"

Sesshomaru bit back his tears. "Mother did not leave me! SHE LEFT YOU!"

Sesshomaru ran out of the room and down the stairs. Izayoi saw him as he was running past the kitchen and shouted out, "Sesshomaru! Wait!"

"No!" Sesshomaru shouted. He ran right out the front door, not even stopping to close it.

InuYasha, only three, grabbed Sesshomaru's coat and ran out into the snow after him. "Big brother! Big Brother!"

Sesshomaru paused and glared back at the little brat. InuYasha ran up to his older brother. He looked cutely guilty for a moment and then handed him the coat.

"Here, aniki!" He said with a smile. "You might get cold."

Sesshomaru had to smile. He shook his head and took the coat. He wrapped it around InuYasha's shoulders. "You need it more than I do."

InuYasha hesitated for a moment. Then he smiled again. "Where are you going?"

"I'm running away." Sesshomaru said. He held his head up tall. "So Father can't reach me."

"Oh..." It was obvious he didn't understand. "C-can I go with you?"

"No." Sesshomaru said.

"But..." InuYasha's eyes got watery. "Who will play games with me? Who will wake me up in the morning? Who will help me tie my shoes?" A tear slid down his face. "Who will be my big brother if you leave?"

Sesshomaru sighed. He picked InuYasha up. "Ok, ok. I'm not going anywhere? Happy?"

InuYasha smiled. "Yay!" He hugged Sesshomaru. "I love you."

Sesshomaru was startled. He looked down at the boy for a moment. Little InuYasha was halfway to asleep with his face nuzzled against Sesshomaru's shoulder. He smiled a little, but said nothing.

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**Don't flip out. There's another chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is actually the Chapter where stuff begins to happen. Yay for plot! :)**

**Here's where the warnings come in.**

_**Magical Warnings of Doom:**_** yaoi, probably incest (I don't know. I'm still working on it. but at the very least incestive feelings), sexual references, self-harm, drug references, morbid situations, and other stuff. You have been warned.**

**...**

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Chapter 2 (?)

Years passed. As InuYasha got older, Sesshomaru became more and scarce around the household, usually coming back from week-long excursions with piercings or tattoos. InuYasha didn't know what to think of his older brother. They were strangers in the same household.

It was on the eve of Sesshomaru's eighteenth birthday (the last night that Inutaisho lived) that things began to get out of hand.

-That night (Sesshomaru's perspective)-

I arrived for the first time in two weeks and the family was eating dinner. I sneered at them, my disrespect being the only way I could disguise my jealousy, and waltzed over to the fridge, searching for my own dinner. Izayoi stood immediately with a sincere, if unsure smile. She rushed over to me.

"Sesshomaru." She said. "There's a place for you at the dinner table." When I merely grunted, she tried something else. "Happy eighteenth birthday. InuYasha and I got you a present. It's waiting on your bed."

I froze and glanced over at InuYasha. His cheeks were flushed slightly and his eyes were locked on his plate. He was growing into an amazing young man. I could only regret that I wasn't a part of it. I nodded as kindly as I could manage at Izayoi. "Thank you."

She kept on her smile. "Please join us for dinner, Sesshomaru. You're home so rarely."

I begrudgingly went to sit down. Izayoi served me as if I was some magnificent guest while my father and brother sat in silence. I tried to catch InuYasha's eyes, but they made a point of staying down. Izayoi, bless the gentle woman's heart, tried to make conversation, but it was impossible among us. So she sat, awkward and flustered, and shared our silence.

We sat for a while after desert in stony silence at the table. I opened my mouth to thank Izayoi for the meal and excuse myself, but my Father spoke first. With cold eyes pointed at me, he said sternly, "Sesshomaru, tonight is your last in this household. Get your things and get out by tomorrow at noon."

Izayoi gasped. "Inutaisho, we talked about this!" She sent a warning glance at him. "Please, don't-"

"InuYasha, go to your room." Father demanded.

I could see something like fear in the boy's eyes as he hurried off. I stood to follow him, wanting more than anything to comfort the boy, but Father blocked my way. "Where are you going?"

I glared at him. "I thought you said I had to get out."

"Sesshomaru, please stay." Izayoi begged. "What would InuYasha do without you?"

"Something tells me he'll manage." I muttered.

"You aren't leaving this room until you apologize." Father said.

"For what?" I asked skeptically.

"For the nuisance you've been to the entire family!" Father said. "You've been nothing but an ungrateful, selfish, brat since InuYasha was born!"

I was just about to lose my temper. "How the hell could I be a nuisance? I'm never here!"

"You're no trouble at all," Izayoi assured me. "Honestly."

"Izayoi, stay out of this!" It was the first time I had seen Father shout at his wife. She shrunk and buried her face in her hands.

I rushed over to her. "Look what you've done..."

"Excuse me?" Father asked.

"Apologize!" I roared. "I will put up with all sorts of your shit, but I will not put up with you being unkind to this wonderful woman!"

"_I'm_ being unkind?" Father asked. "And what have _you _been doing, you hypocritical bastard?"

"Trying to stay out of your way since I was so obviously keeping you from bliss and perfection!" I exclaimed. "Since I was so obviously unwanted!"

"Don't try and make this your sob story, Sesshomaru!" Father growled. "You are a flawed individual. You made yourself unworthy of our family."

"Unworthy..." I smiled, beginning to feel psychotic. "Well let's sit down and have a conversation about my flaws." I walked over to my Father and forced him into a chair. Much to my pleasure, I saw his eyes flash with fear. I felt intense satisfaction and... err... stimulation. "You say I'm selfish. Ok. Ungrateful? Maybe so. But those things could've been solved with parenting. Let's talk about the real issues I have. But, oh! I forgot! You don't know the first thing about me!"

My father looked at me warily. He could probably see the crazy in my eyes. I felt almost on high. I had no clue what I was saying anymore.

"I'm possessive and aggressive." I hissed, pressing hard on Father's chest to keep him in the chair. "Not to mention probably psychotic. I have extreme anger issues. I love violence and making people feel uncomfortable. I hate speech, especially my speaking, which makes my communication skills terrible. I'm a horribly vain and jealous being. I've tried to kill myself ten times over the last month." I smiled. "I'm sadistic and masochistic. I love the taste of blood. And I'm devotedly homosexual. Not to mention partly incestive." I took a shaky breath. "But all I've ever wanted was to not be a nuisance. All I ever wanted was for you to be grateful because I left you and your family alone. But I guess I should've known better. Leaving didn't make you love mom any more."

I took a few steps back and wondered for a moment what I had done. My father looked at me and, for the first time, I think he was actually looking. I turned to a mirror and, for the first time in years, I actually did too. I saw tears that had somehow managed to leak out of my eyes, two lip piercings, any number of steel hoops in my ears, and the gleam of metal from my left eyebrow. I saw long perfect hair and large burning eyes. I saw leather and lethargy. I couldn't look. I had to turn away.

"I'll be gone by morning." I said quietly. I began to walk slowly to my room.

My father grabbed my by my hair and I winced. He dragged me to the door. "No. You're going to get the fuck out of my house. Right now."

I let him drag me from the dinning room and throw me out into the rain. I could hear Izayoi protest loudly and Father shout back at her. And I saw InuYasha in his room with his back to the door and his eyes closed. He was crying. I felt terrible. I was making life miserable for everyone. InuYasha's eyes opened and his gaze met mine for a moment. He looked surprised. Then he rushed out. Next thing I knew, I saw him standing in the doorway. Just like on that day, he brought me a coat.

"Here." InuYasha said quietly. "You might get cold."

I bit back tears. I pulled on the coat, noticing InuYasha also wore his. "You going somewhere?"

He looked at me, his young eyes wide and bright with emotion. "Wherever you are." He stared straight into my soul. "Please... take me with you!"

"InuYasha!" Father shouted out the door. "Get back in the house!"

I shook my head. "Listen to him."

InuYasha shook his head. "No. I... I want to be with you."

"INUYASHA!" Father shouted. He trudged out and grabbed InuYasha by the hair even more roughly than he had grabbed me. InuYasha cried out.

That was all it took. I whipped out my knife and lunged at my father. I held the blade to his throat. "Release him." Father didn't move so I hissed, "That was an order, not a request. **Let InuYasha go**."

I once again had to question my sanity. But Father let InuYasha go, so I had no complaints. I took the knife away from his throat. Father spun around and punched me. It startled me and I stumbled back a few steps.

"No!" InuYasha shouted. "Dad! What are you doing?"

"He's dangerous." Father said. "He'll do bad things to you! You have to understand, InuYasha."

Well, fuck. I did say incestive, didn't I? I let out a low chuckle. "I would never lay a finger on my little brother." I grabbed my father by his shirt and whispered wetly in to his ear, "You on the other hand, old man..." I laughed lightly. "You can't imagine the things I would do to you."

I pushed him away from me and began to walk off. I wanted to get away before he tried to take another swing at me. I felt someone grab my arm. When I looked it was InuYasha. He was looking at me with those eyes again. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. Then I said, "Stay with your mother. I'll be back."

"You promise?" InuYasha asked.

"Cross my heart." I forced a smile. I allowed myself to choke out a sob and hugged InuYasha. "I'm sorry."

InuYasha didn't say anything and after that I ran off.

I have to admit, I'll never know what happened that night. I know that I went back to the apartment I was renting and took out all my earrings except for the top one, vowing I would never have that much metal in one place ever again. I remember I cut up my face and the back of my hands and went to sleep.

I woke at four in the morning because my phone was going off. I picked it up without even looking at the caller ID and answered, "Do you _know_ what time it is?"

_"Sesshomaru!" _It was InuYasha. _"I need you! Someone broke in. They stole almost everything valuable and... I think dad is dead..."_

I jumped out of bed. "Ok. I'll be right there. Where's your mother?"

_"She's in bed. She won't wake up, but she has a pulse. She looks like she was hurt badly."_ InuYasha's voice was trembling. _"Please hurry."_

"It's gonna be ok." I said as I pulled on a pair of jeans. I grabbed my car keys. "You called the ambulance, right?"

_"Mmhmm..."_ InuYasha said. _"I don't know if they're coming..."_

"Just hold on." I was already out to the car. "I have to let you go now. I have to drive."

"Ok..." InuYasha said. "Please speed."

I hung up. "As if I wouldn't..."

When I arrived at the house, the ambulance had also just arrived. I rushed up to the house.

"Excuse me sir, you'll have to stay back." A man in uniform said.

"I live here." I hissed. I pushed my way into the living room.

"Sesshomaru!" InuYasha exclaimed. He rushed towards me but stopped not three feet in front of me. I could see the inner conflict he was having.

I rushed the last few feet and took his face in my hands, touching him for the first time in years. His smooth skin was incredibly soft. "Are you ok?"

"Yes." InuYasha said. "I'm fine."

"Good." I hugged him. "I was worried."

"You took out your earrings..." He whispered.

I laughed. "Yeah. They were kind of garish."

"If you live here, where were you last night?" A police officer asked, looking stern.

"I only live here part time." I said. "I have an apartment down on 22nd avenue. I was there."

The officer looked at me skeptically, but said nothing more. I rolled my eyes and released InuYasha. I looked to the kitchen and saw my father's dead body lying on the floor. I couldn't help but smirk. Served the bastard right. I knew the officer saw that. His frown increased.

"Would you say your father and you were very close?" He wondered.

"No." I said. "He threw me out. He treated me like shit and I really didn't want anything to do with him."

"Sesshomaru didn't kill him." InuYasha said. "I told you it was the black-haired man."

The police officer smiled at InuYasha. "Just looking for more evidence. We're not suspecting your brother of anything." He glared at me. "Yet."

Then he walked away. I shook my head. "Don't worry about him."

It took the better part of an hour to get Father's death squared away. InuYasha had to be interviewed a few times. I was asked a few questions as well. Mostly about family relationships and health records. A death councilor came to talk to InuYasha and I, but neither of us were comfortable speaking with her so she didn't stay too long. Just long enough for me to fill out some paper work and for her to give me a few numbers, including the place where his body would be examined and a place where we could arrange cremation for the body. I took these burdens half-heartedly. I knew that Izayoi would be making the real decisions. When it came to Father's will, I knew nothing would be left to me.

-later that evening (InuYasha's perspective)-

Sesshomaru sat in silence, watching the night and the traffic through the windshield as he drove. After the initial greeting, he hadn't said more than a word to me. Not that he really needed to. I was just glad he was there.

When it came to my brother, I knew almost nothing. I knew that when I was younger and Father's inattention to him hadn't caught my notice, he was a wonderful big brother. Sometimes (I assume when Father angered him) he was cruel, but other than that he had been almost an ideal brother. It was he and not my mother who taught me how to tie my shoes and ride a bike. When I was about eight and I started getting friends was when he stopped showing up for dinner. He started becoming less of my idol and more of a stranger.

He changed drastically. His smile lost its light and sincerity. His voice, so much stronger and deeper, was heard so rarely. He matured and, because we didn't see him often, it was really noticeable. His face took on its metal (from nose rings to eyebrow piercings and lip rings) and his body became mature and toned. He seemed callous and distant and his emotions stopped showing. I didn't know whether or not to be afraid of him. I didn't know what to think...

A month before Father died, I found out my body had made its own decisions. One night Sesshomaru came home, wet from melted snow, in the middle of the night. I hid behind the Christmas tree so he wouldn't see me as I attempted to gauge if he really was the cold-hearted beast he appeared. I saw him strip down to his boxers to dry off by the fire. It was then that I experienced my first erection. That night became the first night I masturbated as well. It took me that long to realize that I found Sesshomaru beautiful.

And so here we were: in his car in the moonlight on our way over to his apartment. He was being so kind to me; once again, being the big brother that I remembered. It was something I had missed terribly. He would drive me to school after winter break was over and take me to see Mom in the hospital every day until then, and probably after. I was going to stay with him in his apartment until the house got fixed. After that, I didn't know. He didn't tell me much. I was a little worried that he thought I was a burden. But he took me on without thinking about any other options.

Still silent, Sesshomaru parked the car in front of a large forest-green apartment complex (one among four) and killed the engine. The silence rang and I couldn't look at him. Since that night, I had found it very hard.

"This is where I live." Sesshomaru said. "I'll get you a key made tomorrow, incase you need it ever."

"Ok." I said.

Sesshomaru got out of the car, so I followed him. He got my duffle bag out of the trunk and carried it to apartment 13. I was thankful that we didn't have to climb any stairs, because I just didn't feel up to it. Sesshomaru unlocked the door and led me in. The apartment was clean and stylish with signs of wear. There were plants and everything seemed to be nice and somewhat new. He some things I noticed he had immediately were: a large TV and a cable box; two laptops, two regular computers and an internet connection box; two fridges; and a very unique-looking reptile/amphibian thing in its cage.

"You can sleep in my room." Sesshomaru said. "It'll probably be more comfortable for you."

I blushed. "Oh! No! I don't want to take your bed from you!"

"You need it more." Sesshomaru said.

"But..." I protested. "M-maybe we could share it!" Realizing what I said, I blushed a deeper shade and hurriedly corrected, "I mean, like, take turns or something! Not sleep together..."

I blushed even deeper as I thought about the very phrase. Sesshomaru laughed. "I'm not going to let you spend a night without a bed. What would your mother think?" Sesshomaru smiled a little. "And since you're so opposed to sleeping in it together..."

Sesshomaru's laugh, his laugh of joy, was one of the most wonderful things I had ever heard. "I'm not _that_ opposed tot he idea..." I said. "I mean, I could get used to it."

Sesshomaru said nothing. He led me into the bedroom and set down my bag on the bed. "Sorry about the mess... I was studying yesterday and haven't got around to cleaning it."

This room looked far more lived in. The bed was a mess, one of the bedside tables was in disarray, there was a desk with papers strewn about, and textbooks in random places around the room. There were two dressers and a closet. I smiled. "It's ok."

"You may use this bedside table for your things," Sesshomaru said, motioning to the clean one, "and the smaller dresser, if you wish. Please do not go through my things. I like my privacy."

I nodded my understanding and Sesshomaru left. I began unpacking things into the smaller dresser. There were already clothes in it, but they didn't look like any clothes I had ever seen on Sesshomaru. They were all very simple, and many of the shirts were made out of satin or silk. I took the opportunity to snoop around without going through things. I looked at the papers and textbooks. Mostly they were language books, but a few for math and science, as well as a cook book. Apparently he had been writing several essays in a variety of different languages. The math textbook had several unfinished assignments in it.

I finished unpacking and went back out to the living room. Sesshomaru was already at work cooking (dinner I guess). I looked at his odd pet. It looked kind of like a turtle without its shell, but in a more frog-like shape. I frowned at it, concentrating.

"His name is Jaken." Sesshomaru was suddenly right behind me; so close I could feel him. "He's a very rare species of frog. He followed me home one day, so I kept him."

"Oh." I said. I could feel my heart racing. "Jaken..."

"He's not incredibly friendly, but I think he looks wise."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Sesshomaru walked over to the living room. He sat on the couch and began to look at another textbook. I looked around. There wasn't really much for me to do here, but to get on the computer. I didn't much want to. It was always tempting for me to be going places I wasn't supposed to and I wasn't sure if Sesshomaru would scold me or not. So I sat down next to him and watched him write.

"So you still go to high school?" I asked.

Sesshomaru shook his head. "Not since I was 15."

"Then University?" I wondered. Sesshomaru just nodded, so I continued, "It looks like you're a little behind on your work."

Sesshomaru looked at me expressionlessly. I was sure I was in trouble. I began to blush. (That was my thing.) Sesshomaru looked back down. "I took last week off."

"Why?" I wondered.

"I was..." Sesshomaru was silent for a moment. "... sick."

I frowned. "You're lying."

"Don't pout." Sesshomaru said. He stood up and went back to the kitchen.

I decided to go back into the bedroom. I just couldn't resist the urge to snoop now that he told me not to. So, I chose the least intrusive thing I could think of: the garbage. Right on top, there were bloody bandages, similar to those on Sesshomaru's face. It made me all the more curious as to what on earth could be beneath them. I pushed past those and found a razor. It made me a little sacred. Beneath that there was an empty pill bottle, some broken pens, paper cups, a torn shirt, and (most scandalously) an empty tube of lube and quite a few used condoms.

Just thinking about Sesshomaru having sex made me horney. I eased myself onto the bed. I hesitated for a moment, but I couldn't stop myself. I pushed down my pants and started to jack off.

I know it was wrong that the first thing I did in my brother's bed was masturbate, but it was too much to take. And I was there, surrounded by his rich scent. God. I could imagine him throwing me onto the bed and fucking me. Slow, hard, any way he wanted. All I wanted was his cock in me and some part of his body touching me. His slim, beautiful hands. His soft, swollen lips. Oh, how I wanted him!

Just as I was about to cum, the door opened. And there was Sesshomaru. It was too late to stop myself. I had to release. I saw my brother's shocked face for a moment and then I closed my eyes. I hear the door slam shut as my orgasm tore through me. I hadn't realized I had been moaning until that moment. I bit my lip and sat for a moment in silence. Good feelings gone. Just like that.

I pulled up my pants and went out to the living room. Dinner was on the table, but Sesshomaru was not there. The front door stood partially ajar. I opened it slowly. There he was. Beautiful Sesshomaru. He was sitting on the curb drinking coffee and looking up at the dark sky. Just then it started to snow. I walked cautiously up to Sesshomaru. There I stood in silence for probably a full 60 seconds. Then Sesshomaru sighed.

"I forgot how fast you're growing up." He said quietly. "You're my little brother. I never really thought of you as a young man."

How could he not? Was I not as much of a stranger to him as he was to me? I didn't really know what I was supposed to say or do in this situation. "I... I'm sorry. That was really wrong of me. I don't know what came over me."

"Obviously lust." I heard Sesshomaru mutter. He was snide and condescending.

"I... I'm sorry..." I muttered, feeling close to tears. (And it's not my fault for being so girly! My mom treated me like her daughter more than her son. People at school make fun of me for it enough.) "I... I didn't... I mean..."

"It's ok." Sesshomaru said. "Let's go inside and eat."

-later (Sesshomaru's Perspective)-

Dinner was tense and awkward. I wasn't angry at him at all, and I tried to communicate that as clearly as possible (since he kept flinching like a puppy that's been kicked too many times), but to no avail. I had made him cupcakes for dessert and I left them with him. I told him I was going to a night class at University and took off. I couldn't stand being near him now. My thoughts were all off whack. Him just jacking off wasn't hardly anything. Normally I would've laughed and let it blow by. But for some reason I couldn't get past it. In the back of my mind I guess I wished that I could make him that happy.

I hit my head against the steering wheel. I was parked in the lot of the University and I probably looked crazy to the students walking by, but I didn't care. If will power couldn't keep those thoughts out of my head, then pain would. I reached into my glove box for the razor I knew was there and gingerly took it out. A crowded parking lot probably wasn't the best place to punish myself, but it would have to do. I took the blade and cut one shallow line into my wrist.

There was a tap on the car window. Shit. The door opened.

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**I used to hate cliffhangers. Then I started using them. :) review if you like this story. There's a third chapter that I've written half of that I'll finish if people show interest.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ugh. That took me longer than I thought. Oh well. Here you go.**

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Chapter 3

(Sesshomaru's perspective)

It had taken nearly two hours, but he had finally coaxed me into it. Fucking bastard. He was the reason I don't like sex. Of course, he didn't want me to enjoy it. Sadistic bastard. He just wanted flesh and blood and a warm place to cum.

Afterwards it was always the same; his cold hands sliding across my flesh as we lay there, giving me chills. He would press his lips against some part of my body and whisper with his usual amount of mockery, "Thanks for the sex, sweetie."

Then I would steal all the money in his wallet (usually somewhere around a thousand dollars) and go home. This time, as I was driving back to home (which inevitably led me back to InuYasha), all I could think about was why, off all people, it had to be him who found me in the parking lot that day. It shouldn't have been such a surprise. Naraku always did.

It was snowing harder now, I could barely see. The swirling flakes were hypnotizing. I knew it wasn't safe for me to be driving, but I needed to get home. I barely made it in one piece.

I parked my car and pressed my forehead against the steering wheel. When I closed my eyes I saw the past flash before them. The past I wasn't proud of. Sleepless nights and sins. Drugs and metal. Ink and blood. I felt like a monster. That was just the way Naraku made me feel. He was poisonous.

"Stop it." I growled quietly. I hit my head against the steering wheel. It didn't hurt, but it got the point across.

I got out of the car and stood for a moment in the snow. It was only then that I thought of InuYasha. I wondered if he was sleeping. I sighed and scooped some snow up from a grassy patch of ground. I smoothed the ball over my skin, feeling the chill wake me. It soothed my aching head and kept me grounded. For a moment, I had to think of my father. He was dead now. There was nothing left in this world for me to be angry at. There was nothing for me to fear. Nothing for me to hate. I had nothing to rebel against. So now the only chains that bound me were the ones that I had put on myself.

And then there was InuYasha.

I shook my head. "What am I going to do about him?"

"Lord Sesshomaru!" A cute little voice called.

My head snapped up. It was the little girl, the cute homeless one. She came bounding up to me with glee. So she was back. I suppressed a smile and said, "Hello, Rin."

"Lord Sesshomaru, where have you been? I haven't seen you for a week!" She smiled up at me with enough joy to kill several politicians.

"I've been in the hospital." I said.

"Are you ok?" Rin exclaimed. I was always amazed at how expressionate her face was. From joy to concern in less than a moment.

"Yes." I said.

"Good!" She was smiling once again. I heard her stomach rumble and she looked down at the ground.

"Haven't you eaten?" I asked.

"Not today..." She said guiltily.

I shook my head. I took a few steps toward the apartment and then looked back to make sure she was following me. She wasn't so I let out a silent sigh. "Come on."

-The next day (InuYasha's Perspective)-

I woke up and it took a minute for me to remember where I was. The smell was what really gave it away. Sesshomaru's bed was like my personal heaven. I sighed and lifted myself up feebly and crawled off the bed. I stood shakily and headed to the kitchen. As I was passing through the living room, I saw Sesshomaru sleeping on the floor. I approached quietly.

Sesshomaru seemed perfectly at ease. His breathing was even and slow. He looked at peace. More relaxed than I had ever seen him in his life. It made him seem innocent. That wasn't something I had ever thought of my brother as before. It was very unusual.

Then I saw the girl on the couch. She was small and only wrapped in a bath towel. I had the impression that she had just taken a bath and she and Sesshomaru had simply fallen asleep. I wondered what she was doing here. It crossed my mind that maybe Sesshomaru had a daughter. That was a scary thought.

Just then Sesshomaru stirred. He brushed a strand of hair off his face and groaned. I was over in the kitchen before he opened his eyes. I grabbed and apple from the fruit basket, finding a banana to be far too sexual, and sat down at the dining table. Sesshomaru came into the kitchen and turned on the coffee pot. He still retained some innocence in his sleepy state.

"Y..." I hesitated, not really wanting to break the quiet. "You must've gotten home late."

"Mmm..." Was the sleepy response. In almost no time Sesshomaru had a cup of coffee in hand. He sat at the table and I avoided his eyes. He cleared his throat and said quietly, "How'd you sleep?"

"Alright." I said. I kept my eyes on the apple as I gingerly took my first bite. "You?"

Sesshomaru let out a low chuckle. "Terribly. I might have to take you up on your sharing idea."

I smiled slightly and tried not to feel too awkward. "You can just have the bed back, if you really want. I don't need it. The only reason I would need to get sleep is for school and we can figure something else out by then."

A bitter look crossed Sesshomaru's face briefly. "No. I won't do that."

I paused for a moment. "Sesshomaru... who's the girl?"

Sesshomaru looked over to the couch and let out an almost silent sigh. "Her name is Rin. She's a homeless girl who's taken a shine to me."

"Does she come around often?" I wondered innocently.

"If you don't mind I would prefer not to talk. I'm not really a morning person and I had a long night." I could hear the effort put into that one phrase.

I shut up and ate the rest of my apple. Sesshomaru sipped at his coffee in silence and stared into space. His face slowly hardened into something more familiar to me. Then I heard a massive yawn and young feet pattered over to the kitchen. I kept my eyes down.

"Good morning Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin exclaimed.

I looked up at her and my eye twitched. She was entirely unclothed. "Wh-why is she naked?"

I could see the tiniest hint of a smile on Sesshomaru's face. "She's just a little girl. Be mature."

"I'm sorry." Rin said. She wore the brightest smile in the world. "You want some waffles?"

"Sure..." I said. Then I stood. "But... uhh... I'll make them."

I went to work in the kitchen. Sesshomaru stood from the table and disappeared into the bathroom. By the time he was out, I had breakfast made. I set the waffles down and sang, "WEEELLLLLLLLL, It's waffle time! It's waffle time! Won't you have some waffles of mine?"

Rin laughed. Yes, it was a cheap Scrubs rip off. Yes I did sing it every time I made waffles. Rin grabbed a couple waffles off of the tray and put them on her plate. She waved Sesshomaru over. "Come eat with us!"

Sesshomaru was dressed very nicely in black slacks, a collared lavender button-up shirt, and a sport's jacket. He shook his head. "I'll be back."

"Where are you going?" Rin asked. I was glad I didn't have to.

But Sesshomaru didn't answer. I tossed down the towel I had been wiping my hands off with and rushed out after Sesshomaru. "Wait!" Sesshomaru paused at the door to his car. "Where are you going? When will you be back?"

Sesshomaru looked at me blankly for a moment. Then he said, "A job interview. I'll be back in an hour or two. Mind the girl."

I rolled my eyes and went back inside. Rin had devoured her waffles and was playing with Jaken. He looked at her with the most annoyed eyes I've ever seen an animal make. She was talking to him as if he was an old man who was supposed to watch over her. I listened to her for a minute.

"Do you wanna tell me a story, Jaken?" Rin asked the creature. "Or go exploring? Or do you just want to wait here until Lord Sesshomaru gets back?" She listened intently. I couldn't hear the creature respond, but apparently she could; because, she laughed and hugged it tightly. "Ok, Master Jaken. I'll put you down now."

Rin put the creature gently back into its cage. I bit my lip. To break the sudden silence, I asked, "Hey, Rin? Why do you call Sesshomaru Lord?"

Rin whipped her head around, as if only just realizing I had been standing there. "Oh. Well now that your father's dead, he _is _the eldest male in the family, right? Making him the new Demon Lord."

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't thought of that... "Oh..."

Rin smiled at me guiltily for a moment. Then she asked quietly, "InuYasha... will you play house with me?"

I smiled and laughed kind of awkwardly. "Uh, sure."

-Three hours later (Sesshomaru's perspective)-

I loosened my tie as I walked to my front door. I thought I had mentally prepared myself for what I would find on the other side, but boy was I wrong. I knew Rin would have coaxed InuYasha into playing one of her little games, but I didn't know how much she could make him do. I opened the door and immediately froze.

"Hi Lord Sesshomaru!"

When InuYasha saw me, his face turned bright red. He was in some sort of slutty outfit for females resembling a French Maid costume, but much more... pink. His apron was littered with hearts. His face was slathered with make-up. And his hair was braided and tied back. InuYasha's eyes met with mine and then he ran off. My eyes were wide in surprise for a moment, and then I had to laugh. I walked to my room and knocked on the door.

"InuYasha," I said. "Let me in."

There was no answer, so I just entered. InuYasha was tangled in frills, trying desperately to get the ties of the dress undone. I chuckled and gently pulled at a massive silk bow. The layers of the dress began to unfold in a massive heap. I smiled.

InuYasha blushed and held the dress bunched up against his chest so it covered his body. "H-hi big brother. Home so soon?"

"I've been gone longer than expected." I said with a little smirk.

"O-oh..." InuYasha smiled a little. "Umm... haha..."

InuYasha rummaged around behind him for clothes. He quickly gave up and collapsed into a sitting position on the bed. I sat by him and let out a quiet sigh. I was tired.

"Hey... Sesshomaru..." InuYasha said quietly. "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded, but didn't feel like putting any more effort into it.

"Why is there two of everything here? There are even clothes that aren't yours."

I flinched. These were souvenirs from the time when Naraku lived with me. I didn't really know what to tell InuYasha. Having Naraku's things here made me pissed off enough without having to tell people about it. It was like Naraku's way of saying that he still owned the apartment and me. I bit back my feelings and said simply, "I used to have a roommate."

"Oh..." Inuyasha was quiet for a minute.

After a few awkward moments of silence, I stood and walked away.

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**This was way too short... I'm sorry. But it was an important chapter to explain some stuff... So... yeah... :) hopefully a new chapter soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I had an idea and I had to get it out. It doesn't matter how short of a chapter this was.**

**PLease pardon my over-use of the "**...**"s. It seemed appropriate.**

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Chapter 4

(InuYasha's Perspective)

I don't understand it. One minute he was seeming really... happy. The next, he was withdrawn and sullen. I... just didn't understand Sesshomaru. I let out a sigh and lied down on the bed. I was tired and I wanted more than anything to curl up in a ball and never come out of it. As if on cue, all the depressing thoughts I had been fighting all day rushed into my head.

My mother... and father... Father was dead, and there was nothing anyone could do about that. Mother was badly hurt... and I felt like, somehow, it was my fault; like I could have done something, like I _should have_ done something. I felt like I should have known and I should have said something. It felt like there was a black hole that settled into my chest; like I was staring into a black abyss and it was slowly devouring every part of my soul. And all I wanted was to let it devour me and let myself be gone.

I quickly snapped out of it and threw on some clothes. Then I rushed out to Sesshomaru. He was watching Rin put her toys away and sipping a glass of milk. Sesshomaru gave me a glance and I said loudly, "Please take me to my mother!"

Sesshomaru nodded and set down his milk. He grabbed his jacket and we left without another word.

After what seemed like a small eternity, I was in my mother's room. She was conscious, but... the doctors said it was just as well that we arrived when we did. They didn't know how long she would last. I knelt beside my mom as unashamed tears ran down my cheeks. She looked horrible, but she cupped my cheek and laughed.

"Crying? How unmanly of you." She said in her weak voice. When I couldn't do more than attempt a smile, she sighed and looked deep into my eyes. "Oh, InuYasha... be strong. Everything will be alright."

"I..." I couldn't speak. My throat was too tight. "Mom..."

"Death is not the worst to happen to a person." My mom said. "Death is both an end, and a new beginning."

"I don't want you to go..." I said. There was a strong ache in my chest and I couldn't seem to pull myself together. My voice was as weak as hers. "I love you, mom."

"And I love you." She whispered. "I always have... and I always will." She took a wheezy breath. "Send in Sesshomaru for a moment."

I nodded and walked slowly out of her room. Sesshomaru looked down at me with no expression. I wiped my tears and said, "She wants you."

He nodded and headed in, closing the door behind him. I sat in a chair and cried.

-(Sesshomaru's Perspective)-

A cold, blindingly white, soulless hospital did not seem like any proper way to die. But there lay the kindest, most incredible woman I had ever met... ready to accept this fate. It hurt me to see her, pale and in pain, with no hope of escaping her pallid prison. I knelt beside Izayoi and saw, much to my surprise, fire and determination in her eyes. They locked fiercely with mine and she licked her lips.

"Take care of my boy." She commanded. I nodded and she took my face in both her hands. "That's not good enough, Sesshomaru."

I swallowed and said quietly, "I swear upon my life... I will protect and care for your son... my brother... with my very last breath."

She nodded and sighed. Izayoi rolled over to lie on her back and I stood, assuming we were done. Before I could move, though, she spoke again. "I know about you, Lord Sesshomaru. While your father was busy pretending you didn't exist, I was trying to think of ways to make your existence... a life." I flinched slightly and felt a pang of sorrow and guilt. Izayoi smiled slightly. "Please stop hurting yourself. You have someone who depends on you now. Do not abandon InuYasha as you have abandoned yourself."

It did not yet occur to me quite what she was saying. I simply nodded and said, "I won't."

Izayoi smiled again. "It's a pity I will never get to see you boys become men... Bring in InuYasha."

I let my brother in and we stood by her bed. Izayoi held InuYasha's hand and closed her eyes. We watched with heavy hearts as slowly the life began to drain from Izayoi. It took hours of silence and probably pain, before our loving mother used her last breath to say, "I love you."

It was at 10:34 pm on December 30th that Izayoi passed on. Inuyasha cried... but I couldn't find it in myself to let out a tear.

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**So... what'd ya think?**


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